For over ten years I've been in the dark. Wondering what happened to my sister, to my niece and nephew, and my brother in law. I've hired detectives, I've done internet searches, I've even tried pretend to be her and called up utility companies in Las Vegas trying to find them.
But God has his ways and his ways are not our ways.
Still I a have to say this is the best Thanksgiving EVER. My sister hit me up on myspace. I was thinking of taking it down now that I'm using GMAIL, but what providence and what grace I have been shown.
I give all the glory to my Father who created a universe in which all things work for those who love him.
There are still to many uncontrolled whirling dervish like emotions inside of me to make a clear statement here, but as time goes by I'm sure there will be more read. I have so much to thank her for. She truly helped to raise me and my younger brothers, her husband taught me how to play bass and gave an insatiable love of all things funk. Leave us not forget my niece and nephew who were like little satellites orbitting all the time. How I took their love and presence for granted. Never again because life is to precious. So many times in the interim I almost lost my life and I would have never gotten to tell them that I love them just one more time. But God has opened the gates of heaven and poured out his essence on us. Never take your family for granted. That they will always be there, that they will always be able to comfort you, that you'll always be able to pick up a phone and hear their voices.
This is what I am thankful for this year. May you all know the love of family, may the peace that surpasses all understanding be your constant companion, and never ever forget, "THE FUNK IS IT'S OWN REWARD".
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About Me
- revollis
- I have discovered that the more I journey, the more I see, and the more I see, the more I despair. So I spend most of my time studying, chanting, praying, meditating, and laughing. I couldnt face the world I face every day without the help I receive from above.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Dialysis
As a dialysis patient for over three years I've seen a lot of things. As human beings we like discount the experiences of people because they either don't have the length of experience that others do, or their experiences are discounted because they don't fit the norm.
So let me say right off the bat that my experiences as a dialysis patient are not the norm. Let me say that I don't have all the answers about how to deal with dialysis. And let me be clear on the fact that my experiences as a patient, are just that. MY EXPERIENCES.
Very few of us talk about or write about what we go through. I'm sure some PH'D could give us a lengthy and detailed analysis as to why that is.
But I've realized that talking about it help others deal with it. Talking about it helps family members who have no fricking clue as to what their dialysis patient is going through. But most of all it helps me to feel like I'm doing something for us. For the patients.
Going through dialysis is like a job. A job that beats the crap out of you, leaves you exhausted mentally and physically, and doesnt give you a choice about whether or not you want to keep doing it.
Well that's not exactly true, there are always choices. Dialysis or die. Not much of a choice but it is a choice. And for all you family members, church members, well meaning nurses, counselors, and concerned citizens, "Shut the hell up".
When I was young my dad used to tell me all the time, "Son, never judge a person till you done walked a mile in they shoes".
So for all of you people who care about us, love us, pray for us, try to help us, you need to know this. Until you live with the specter of death looming over you. Until you live with having someone watching over what you eat, what you drink, and whether or not you're taking your medications. Until you have dealt with being stuck with 16 gauge needles a minimum of three times a week, some times more. Until you know what it feels like to know you no longer have freedom unless there's a dialysis machine where ever youre thinking about going. I'm not even going to get started on the pain that the needles cause that's damned obvious. But what about the pain of knowing that this is your future? What about the pain of knowing that you live on borrowed time? What about the pain of knowing that every one who knows you is waiting for the other shoe to drop so they can start fighting over what few items in this world that you did own? What about the pain of knowing that there are hundreds and hundreds of preventitive methods for keeping kidneys healthy and working but that insurance companies squash them because they make more money off you as a dialysis patient? What about the pain of having to fight and fight and fight with doctors, insurance agents, hospitals, dialysis clinics, just to get treated like a human being instead of a number?
So the next time you tell some one who has an illness that you understand what they are going through, do yourself a favor and bite your tongue. It means more to us that you just be there for us than trying to lift our spirits with empty platitudes and common statements of concern.
So let me say right off the bat that my experiences as a dialysis patient are not the norm. Let me say that I don't have all the answers about how to deal with dialysis. And let me be clear on the fact that my experiences as a patient, are just that. MY EXPERIENCES.
Very few of us talk about or write about what we go through. I'm sure some PH'D could give us a lengthy and detailed analysis as to why that is.
But I've realized that talking about it help others deal with it. Talking about it helps family members who have no fricking clue as to what their dialysis patient is going through. But most of all it helps me to feel like I'm doing something for us. For the patients.
Going through dialysis is like a job. A job that beats the crap out of you, leaves you exhausted mentally and physically, and doesnt give you a choice about whether or not you want to keep doing it.
Well that's not exactly true, there are always choices. Dialysis or die. Not much of a choice but it is a choice. And for all you family members, church members, well meaning nurses, counselors, and concerned citizens, "Shut the hell up".
When I was young my dad used to tell me all the time, "Son, never judge a person till you done walked a mile in they shoes".
So for all of you people who care about us, love us, pray for us, try to help us, you need to know this. Until you live with the specter of death looming over you. Until you live with having someone watching over what you eat, what you drink, and whether or not you're taking your medications. Until you have dealt with being stuck with 16 gauge needles a minimum of three times a week, some times more. Until you know what it feels like to know you no longer have freedom unless there's a dialysis machine where ever youre thinking about going. I'm not even going to get started on the pain that the needles cause that's damned obvious. But what about the pain of knowing that this is your future? What about the pain of knowing that you live on borrowed time? What about the pain of knowing that every one who knows you is waiting for the other shoe to drop so they can start fighting over what few items in this world that you did own? What about the pain of knowing that there are hundreds and hundreds of preventitive methods for keeping kidneys healthy and working but that insurance companies squash them because they make more money off you as a dialysis patient? What about the pain of having to fight and fight and fight with doctors, insurance agents, hospitals, dialysis clinics, just to get treated like a human being instead of a number?
So the next time you tell some one who has an illness that you understand what they are going through, do yourself a favor and bite your tongue. It means more to us that you just be there for us than trying to lift our spirits with empty platitudes and common statements of concern.
Monday, November 16, 2009
JUST A LITTLE TALK WITH THEE
Once upon a time there was a man who would be king
To receive untold wealth only required one thing
Death for all was the price he had to pay
And he asked the Father if there was another way
The Father loved the Son and the Son loved us
The most beautiful story ever told of love and trust
All that you see is the greatest lie ever told
But if you come with me you'll be part of my fold
I will take you to a place where you'll never ever cry
And every one you love will never ever die
The streets will be gold and mansions abound
And eternal praise will be the most wonderful sound
The world is hungry it wants to eat you whole
It wants your attention so it can devour your soul
It's full of lies and deceit it's every gift is a curse
You must do horrible things if you want to be first
Awe this is too much I'm just trying to make a buck
I've got bills to pay and the lottery takes luck
I tell you what when you can put food on my table
And remove all my worries then I'll be able
To give you time to hear about this king unknown
Because it's obvious he failed or he'd be on the throne
With the world at his feet and every tongue giving praise
Instead of pushing up daisies for the rest of his days
It's prophetic you should say that for surely I did die
But unlike you all I am God inside
Tried me , spit on me, beat me worst than most
Then they hung me from a tree till I gave up the ghost
I was covered in swaddling and laid in a tomb
But this my friend is not a story of doom
For three days later I arose from the grave
For the sins of all men my life I freely gave
For when sin entered the world so did death
But to all who believe I give eternal breath
The gates of hell have been smashed forever
The price mentioned earlier is to be a believer
For the price is belief in Christ as the son of THE FATHER
You will never taste of death or of thirst or of hunger
I thought of your offer and I'm afraid I need proof
Some sort of contract my mother raised no fools
If you can give that to me I will believe all my days
And even go to church and change all my ways
I wish I could help you with your struggle of faith
But the contract you seek has already been made
You see when I died and shed my own blood
All those who believe are covered by my love
Then how can I a man long of this world
Ever trust this blood this so called pearl
I build with my hands and it's there for all to see
But this faith you talk of is invisible to me
What can I look to as proof that you’re real
Give to me a parchment and I will seal this deal
You need no PDA, no email, no paper, no contract
For my Father has created all men with a pact
You know in your heart that my shed blood saves
But The Father will never force upon you his love or his ways
If you choose the path of seeking signs from outside
You will miss the voice continually calling from inside
If you truly desire to find me in your life
Be silent my son and let go of your strife
For in the moment that your voice goes silent
The veil between you and Me is forever rent
To receive untold wealth only required one thing
Death for all was the price he had to pay
And he asked the Father if there was another way
The Father loved the Son and the Son loved us
The most beautiful story ever told of love and trust
All that you see is the greatest lie ever told
But if you come with me you'll be part of my fold
I will take you to a place where you'll never ever cry
And every one you love will never ever die
The streets will be gold and mansions abound
And eternal praise will be the most wonderful sound
The world is hungry it wants to eat you whole
It wants your attention so it can devour your soul
It's full of lies and deceit it's every gift is a curse
You must do horrible things if you want to be first
Awe this is too much I'm just trying to make a buck
I've got bills to pay and the lottery takes luck
I tell you what when you can put food on my table
And remove all my worries then I'll be able
To give you time to hear about this king unknown
Because it's obvious he failed or he'd be on the throne
With the world at his feet and every tongue giving praise
Instead of pushing up daisies for the rest of his days
It's prophetic you should say that for surely I did die
But unlike you all I am God inside
Tried me , spit on me, beat me worst than most
Then they hung me from a tree till I gave up the ghost
I was covered in swaddling and laid in a tomb
But this my friend is not a story of doom
For three days later I arose from the grave
For the sins of all men my life I freely gave
For when sin entered the world so did death
But to all who believe I give eternal breath
The gates of hell have been smashed forever
The price mentioned earlier is to be a believer
For the price is belief in Christ as the son of THE FATHER
You will never taste of death or of thirst or of hunger
I thought of your offer and I'm afraid I need proof
Some sort of contract my mother raised no fools
If you can give that to me I will believe all my days
And even go to church and change all my ways
I wish I could help you with your struggle of faith
But the contract you seek has already been made
You see when I died and shed my own blood
All those who believe are covered by my love
Then how can I a man long of this world
Ever trust this blood this so called pearl
I build with my hands and it's there for all to see
But this faith you talk of is invisible to me
What can I look to as proof that you’re real
Give to me a parchment and I will seal this deal
You need no PDA, no email, no paper, no contract
For my Father has created all men with a pact
You know in your heart that my shed blood saves
But The Father will never force upon you his love or his ways
If you choose the path of seeking signs from outside
You will miss the voice continually calling from inside
If you truly desire to find me in your life
Be silent my son and let go of your strife
For in the moment that your voice goes silent
The veil between you and Me is forever rent
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Helpful Lists
Time is getting short brothers and sisters. This is not a message of fear or intimidation. This is a true cold hard realization that time is moving faster and faster. Ever look back at your childhood and wonder where it all went? Ever look back at college and wonder where those years went? How is it possible that our experience of time is getting faster and faster and instead of leveling out or slowing down?
I even went so far as to ask my dad, (who was a theologian) why is it that time seems to keep going faster. Even he had no answer for me.
I’ve questioned pastors, priests, friends, and elders about this strange phenomenon and no one seems to be able to answer this question.
It wasn’t until I found Urantia / The Book of Knowledge:The Keys of Enoch / The Jerusalem Bible / and the 72 Living Names of The Most High / Alpha, Theta, Delta, and Beta mind state classes offered by “Dr. June d’Estelle”, “Dr. S. Louise Burgan”, and “Dr. Gale Gray”.
There are several groups that have offered information in regards to time and its eventual courses.
This is not by any means a complete list and if you would be so kind as to keep me updated on myspace or google blogger I will continue to update this list. In the mean time may this help you in your search, God bless. Rev. Ollis.
www.junedestelle.com Dr. d’Estelle’s Alpha, Theta, Delta classes being offered year round.
www.2012nbeyond.com Dr. Gale Grays Delta, Mayan, and Vortex classes being offered year round.
www.thefamilyoflight.net Training in shamanic practices and herbalism. Class schedules and pricing unknown.
www.umsonline.org Metaphysical colleges and schools of enlightenment. This site will refer you to other schools who may be teaching what you want to learn.
www.westga.edu The writings and deliverings of Mike Arons. I found his work quite insightful and should help any on at any level grow.
www.wright-house.com The analects of Confucius. Nothing more need be said. Lao has been speaking to us for over a thousand years.
www.chinesemoods.com Chinese clothing, articles, and home décor. For those trying to bring more “feng shui” into their homes or looking to dress more in line with eastern fashions, then this is the site for you.
www.mysticunicorn.com Fairies, dragons, candles, oils, herbs, etc. This site has many offerings. Too many to go into here. So drop by and see if they have something that appeals to you.
www.20000-names.com Dragon names and their origins and meanings. I am a dragon freak. I’ve got dragons all over my home and a tattoo of a dragon on my arm. If you want to know more about these incredibly ancient and wise beings this is a good place to start.
www.emofree.com World center for emotional freedom techniques. This site was created by Gary Craig who realized that patients who addressed their childhood and early adulthood traumas lived much richer and fuller lives. If emotions are what’s holding you back then this is a good place to start.
www.yournewageshop.com Candles, oils, fairies, dragons, wands, etc. This site has a variety of items and is not limited to any one field or specialty. So my advice is to peruse the pages and let your intuition lead you.
www.psychicenterprises.com Cheryl Anne has been working and bringing her special touch of intuition and unconditional love to her readings. If you have never had a reading I recommend her as a good starting place. I you are more advanced then I would recommend people more like;
Frank Bozza (seer extraordinaire) 530-346-8683 HOME 530-320-0402 Tell him that Ollis and May sent you. Always call for an appointment as he does not do home visits.
www.rmminst.com The Rocky Mountain Mystery School International teaches a very monastic modality. Commitment is a requirements for this type of training, so the serious need not apply.
www.futurescience.org This and several other works by Dr.’s JJ and Desiree Hurtak have advanced what we know about ancient structures, sound, harmony, and spirituality. He has written several books such as “The Book of Knowledge:The Keys of Enoch, The 72 Divine Names of the Most High, and several others. His website is a plethora of knowledge that will aid you on your journey to finding who you are and why you are here.
www.ulc.net This is where I became ordained as minister and got my doctorate in religion. These people are always looking to help our as long as your creed is not one of hate or death.
This list is by no means exhaustive so please send me sites and phone numbers of people who work in these fields.
I even went so far as to ask my dad, (who was a theologian) why is it that time seems to keep going faster. Even he had no answer for me.
I’ve questioned pastors, priests, friends, and elders about this strange phenomenon and no one seems to be able to answer this question.
It wasn’t until I found Urantia / The Book of Knowledge:The Keys of Enoch / The Jerusalem Bible / and the 72 Living Names of The Most High / Alpha, Theta, Delta, and Beta mind state classes offered by “Dr. June d’Estelle”, “Dr. S. Louise Burgan”, and “Dr. Gale Gray”.
There are several groups that have offered information in regards to time and its eventual courses.
This is not by any means a complete list and if you would be so kind as to keep me updated on myspace or google blogger I will continue to update this list. In the mean time may this help you in your search, God bless. Rev. Ollis.
www.junedestelle.com Dr. d’Estelle’s Alpha, Theta, Delta classes being offered year round.
www.2012nbeyond.com Dr. Gale Grays Delta, Mayan, and Vortex classes being offered year round.
www.thefamilyoflight.net Training in shamanic practices and herbalism. Class schedules and pricing unknown.
www.umsonline.org Metaphysical colleges and schools of enlightenment. This site will refer you to other schools who may be teaching what you want to learn.
www.westga.edu The writings and deliverings of Mike Arons. I found his work quite insightful and should help any on at any level grow.
www.wright-house.com The analects of Confucius. Nothing more need be said. Lao has been speaking to us for over a thousand years.
www.chinesemoods.com Chinese clothing, articles, and home décor. For those trying to bring more “feng shui” into their homes or looking to dress more in line with eastern fashions, then this is the site for you.
www.mysticunicorn.com Fairies, dragons, candles, oils, herbs, etc. This site has many offerings. Too many to go into here. So drop by and see if they have something that appeals to you.
www.20000-names.com Dragon names and their origins and meanings. I am a dragon freak. I’ve got dragons all over my home and a tattoo of a dragon on my arm. If you want to know more about these incredibly ancient and wise beings this is a good place to start.
www.emofree.com World center for emotional freedom techniques. This site was created by Gary Craig who realized that patients who addressed their childhood and early adulthood traumas lived much richer and fuller lives. If emotions are what’s holding you back then this is a good place to start.
www.yournewageshop.com Candles, oils, fairies, dragons, wands, etc. This site has a variety of items and is not limited to any one field or specialty. So my advice is to peruse the pages and let your intuition lead you.
www.psychicenterprises.com Cheryl Anne has been working and bringing her special touch of intuition and unconditional love to her readings. If you have never had a reading I recommend her as a good starting place. I you are more advanced then I would recommend people more like;
Frank Bozza (seer extraordinaire) 530-346-8683 HOME 530-320-0402 Tell him that Ollis and May sent you. Always call for an appointment as he does not do home visits.
www.rmminst.com The Rocky Mountain Mystery School International teaches a very monastic modality. Commitment is a requirements for this type of training, so the serious need not apply.
www.futurescience.org This and several other works by Dr.’s JJ and Desiree Hurtak have advanced what we know about ancient structures, sound, harmony, and spirituality. He has written several books such as “The Book of Knowledge:The Keys of Enoch, The 72 Divine Names of the Most High, and several others. His website is a plethora of knowledge that will aid you on your journey to finding who you are and why you are here.
www.ulc.net This is where I became ordained as minister and got my doctorate in religion. These people are always looking to help our as long as your creed is not one of hate or death.
This list is by no means exhaustive so please send me sites and phone numbers of people who work in these fields.
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